What is “fat talk”
and Why I Gave it Up for Lent
Maybe you've never heard the term “fat talk,” but more than
likely you've been a part of it, or witnessed someone else using this negative
language.
So what is fat talk?
Fat talk is the act of bashing your body through comments
like, “I hate my cellulite” or the more obvious, “I’m so fat!” Fat talk can
also be subtle like, “I really shouldn't have that burger” or “I wish I could
pull off that outfit like that girl.” These body-bashing comments will stick in
your mind and will fog the way you see, and look at, yourself. This sort of
talk creates all sorts of problems, such as negative body image issues, and
even more extreme, eating disorders.
Unfortunately, fat talk is extremely common among women, at
any age. I witness this all the time, within the gym setting, out of the gym
setting, everywhere. Last week I witnessed this between two strangers, as I was
in a dressing room, and overheard a conversation. I heard one friend remark to
the other that, “this dress makes me look huge, but then again, I am fat.” I
cringed. And what did her friend say to her, “You look beautiful just the way
you are.” In my head, I was thinking, by saying that, how is the situation
being helped? What her friend really should have said is, “stop talking like
that, you’re only going to make yourself feel worse, and even though you’re not
fat at all, you’re going to start believing you are.”
Fat talk, however, goes beyond conversations with friends;
it becomes a never-ending conversation with yourself. You wake up, you look at
the mirror, and what do you say to yourself? I look bloated, my stomach looks
big, wow I have thunder thighs, why don’t I have a six pack. The mirror is
where fat talk is most prevalent, it becomes a place where we automatically
look for and find flaws. Would you look at a friend, look for all of their
flaws, and tell them where they are and what they are? No. So why do this to
yourself? Why do you break yourself down?
Why I gave up Fat
Talk for Lent
I don’t want to break myself down, I want to build myself
up. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum in terms of my body, I have been
overweight and I have been underweight. And what I’ve noticed for me is that
when the number on the scale isn’t where I want it to be, I start seeing
someone else in the mirror. When I was underweight, I saw someone that was
overweight in the mirror, and because of that, I began to tell myself that I
was fat, and I did it so often, that I started to believe it. At the end of the
day though, I wasn’t fat at all, I just was mad that the number on the scale
wasn't dropping, and that caused me to take extreme measures to bring it down.
Over the past few months, I have been consciously gaining
weight, trying to become stronger, in what is called a “bulk.” During this
process what I’ve noticed is, yes, my weight is going up, however, I am more
confident, because I’m not freaking out about the numbers anymore. What I’ve
also noticed is because of this, I actually live a much healthier life, because
I truly love my body and want to show my body the love it deserves.
So, my point is, a healthy mind, leads to a healthy body.
When you stop telling yourself you’re fat, it’s much easier to love your body.
I go to the gym and eat healthy, not because I think I’m fat, but because my
body deserves to feel good. This is why I’m giving fat talk up for lent, and
hopefully for the rest of my life. Your body deserves to feel good, and your
body deserves to hear positive self-talk, and in order to do that, your mind
has to change.
So how do you stop
the fat talk?
1.
Start
catching yourself and spotting fat talk. Notice the times and situations in
which you start talking about your body negatively. If it’s in front of a
mirror, start looking for the positives in the mirror. If it’s around your
friends, don’t fish for compliments, stop yourself, and start stopping your
friends. Create a “no fat talk zone” within your social circle, address the
issue and say to your friends, “guys, no fat talk here.”
2.
Stop
judging others, so you can stop judging yourself. There are two aspects to
this. First of all, never body shame someone else. You never know what someone
else is going through in their life and you can't judge a book by it’s cover.
Stop looking for flaws in other people, don’t talk about it in your head, and
definitely don't talk about it with others. Secondly, don’t judge others and
compare yourselves to them. Whether it’s a friend or a celebrity, don’t compare
yourself and your body to someone else. Every body and everybody is built
differently, beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. See beauty within
others, but don’t compare yourself to that, you are beautiful in your own way.
3.
Become
body neutral. It’s not easy to go from being extremely negative about your
body, to being positive, so become body neutral. When you feel like you have
found a flaw, or you feel down about your appearance, instead of saying “I look
gross,” say to yourself “I’m not gross. I’m just not feeling myself today, and
I’m not feeling 100% confident right now, and that’s okay. Tomorrow is a new
day.”
4.
Build
others up, while building yourself up. Dish out at least one compliment to
another person, everyday. You never know who needs a compliment and who needs
some positive energy. By complimenting others, you are spreading positivity. Be
sure that in your compliment, you don’t say something like, “Wow that dress
looks great on you, wish I could look like that.” Don’t bring yourself into the
compliment. Simply say, “You look beautiful in that dress.” In addition,
compliment yourself once a day. At the end of the day, think about one or more
things that are positive about you or about your day. It’s important to spread
positivity through your own mind, and more importantly, throughout your
community, because fat talk is truly an issue that is effecting society,
especially women, as a whole.
I hope this helps you to better understand fat talk and why
it is a negative thing. If you find that you lack confidence, or that you
suffer from using fat talk, take steps to change that. When you change your
mind, you can change your body.
